Ayaui Uso

Standard
Author: Kitazawa Jinko
Illustrator: Kane Hikaru
Format: Novel
H-level:
Plot:
Artwork:
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yaui Uso, meaning a dangerous lie, is the sequel to Kiwadoi Kake and is one of the few books that made it into my BELOVED collection. Since it’s hard to distinguish between spoilers and non-spoilers because the story is tighthly interweaved, I suggest those who plan on reading the novel to skip this review (and rely on the book’s description instead). If you don’t plan on reading the novel, then go ahead as I will try my best to come up with a pretty detailed review (after all it’s one of my most beloved books???? . The book consists of two parts. The first part, Ayaui Uso, features the main couple Asahina and Futaba but the gem of this novel is really the second part – Yasashii Toge, featuring the other couple Fuse and Homura.

Story

AYAUI USO (Dangerous Lie)

The story took place not long after the conclusion of the first novel. Asahina Tatsumasa (???Narita Ken) and Nishizaki Futaba (???Miyata Kouki) already became lovers and Futaba started university. To earn supplement income so he would not be a burden for his mother’s brothers and his wife, Futaba worked part time at a restaurant. Most of the customers at the restaurant are adults or housewives and only very rarely would students eat there. Futaba was popular at the restaurant because he was cute and had a lovely personality. His customers sometimes would even give him movie tickets. He invited Asahina to watch but Asahina asked him what sort of movie and he told Asahina not to care about what to watch, but WHO to watch with???. There was an upperclassman at university, a second year law student Sakagami Kouji, who was interested in Futaba. He suspected Asahina (who came to see Futaba) was some special agent or police and he wanted to get close to Futaba in what he called “obtaining information for his newsletter”. However, Futaba sensed he had deeper intentions and so he escaped. However, Sakagami did not give up and went to the restaurant where Futaba was working to stalk him. Futaba was a bit worried about Sakagami’s behavior and told Asahina, who reassured Futaba that he would have the case settled for him. He recruited Homura Haruka (???Kamiya Hiroshi) because Fuse Keigo (???Miki Shinichirou) was trying to have the senator Nemoto Kunio arrested. Homura thought Asahina was going a bit too far by applying for JSIA aid to settle such a simple case but since it was a proper request, Homura had no choice but to do it – in his own way. The next day, when Futaba saw Sakagami, the latter fled from him. Futaba chased after Sakagami and asked him what happened – that he would be so frightened. Sakagami then told Futaba that Homura threatened him by secretly filming him with a hidden camera while he was caught in an indecent act. Actually, Futaba made the camera in his spare time as he wanted to become a tech researcher at JSIA upon graduation and Asahina just submitted the camera to the organization. Since Sakagami was the son of important politician, he was afraid his parents’ reputation would be endangered. Futaba was surprised Homura chose such a nasty way of settling the matter (though it was VERY QUICK). He then went home and complained to Asahina for letting Homura handle the case. Futaba was upset because he could not understand why the beautiful Homura could sleep with another man so easily (even if it was a job). He thought Homura’s lover – Fuse would be upset should he know of Homura so casually slept with other people. However, Asahina told Futaba that Homura and Fuse were not lovers. Their relationship was closer to a BOMB and the PLUG. Naturally, judging from the personality of the two, Futaba knew who was the bomb and who was the plug.

Before I proceed further, I must backtrack a bit and explain the personality of Fuse and Homura a little deeper as I just discovered I said very little in the review of the first CD. Basically Fuse is your BIG DOGGY type of seme????. He is very nice, cute, and in terms of voice, imagine Miki Shinichirou in Naruse (Gakuen Heaven) mode. He is a very gentle person and always smiles at Futaba. Of the three “men” surrounding Futaba, Fuse is the closest to “normal” ???. On the other hand, his partner Homura is very icy and always emits the aura that he hates the world. He rarely speaks but when he does, he spits poison. When Futaba investigated the residence, he found these two men lived together so he naturally thought they were lovers. However, they were not. So exactly what kind of relationship did they have? This troubled Futaba as he could not understand Homura’s action. Puzzled and angry at Asahina because he thought Asahina KNEW Homura would sleep with Sakagami to threaten him but he still REQUESTED for Homura to handle the case, Futaba left the house to cool his mind. He then received a phone call from Fuse, inviting him to his apartment. However, that was also part of the plans of Asahina really. After talking with Fuse, Asahina came to take Futaba home. Since Futaba went to Asahina’s penthouse and sneaked in TWICE, he was punished:mrgreen: The punishment was to have H while handcuffed😯. In the end of the day, Asahina was the scary HENTAI OJISAN whose brain was split between work and thinking of tricks to PLAY with his CUTE HONEY.

YASASHII TOGE (Gentle Thorns)

Regarding the story of the side couple, since the novel’s not told in chronological order, I rearrange the order to make it easier to understand.

Fuse and Homura knew each other for as long as they could remember. They were neighbors and their parents were on brilliant terms. As a result, the twins from the Homura family – Haruka and his sister Shiori played with Fuse all the time and the three were like siblings. Actually, the Homura even joked they wanted to marry Fuse. For Haruka, it had to be a joke but for his sister, it would be her dream. Haruka knew his sister liked Fuse very much but Fuse only treated her as a younger sister. At 5, Fuse’s father died and his mother died 10 years later. So Homura’s father became Fuse’s guardian. They did not want to adopt him because they wanted him to marry Shiori and be their son-in-law instead. When the time came for the two to go to university, it would be too far for them to commute and so they shared an apartment. This was Homura (the father)’s motive because his son could not do any housework and could hardly survive on his own. Homura’s father was right. Haruka did NOTHING during the first two weeks of independence. Fuse could not stand it and so he took over all the housework. Haruka frankly said if Fuse had complaints about him, he could just voice it out but Fuse never complained. Fuse did not want to complain because he knew Haruka was extremely beautiful (for a man) and if he complained, Haruka would simply stay with other people. Haruka was a very cool person and did not have strong emotions. He did not even feel anything for anyone before and he did not have a specific sexual orientation. In fact, he did not seem to be interested in sex. He definitely did not want to have a family though. Even when they were in high school, there were rumors of the big DOGGY Fuse and the beautiful princess (Shiori). However, there were also men who were supporters of Haruka more than the weak and invalid Shiori. One of these men, who also came to the university, was Nagai Kazuki. While chatting with Nagai, Haruka saw Fusei with another beautiful girl at the cafeteria. Then Nagai asked if Haruka was interested in sex and he said he wasn’t particularly interested. However, when Nagai invited him to sleep over, Haruka agreed (as he did not mind that too). He just wanted to have a taste of what it felt like. He left a message at Fuse’s cellphone, telling Fuse he wouldn’t go home that night. Then he followed Nagai home. However, he was very cold and just read books until Nagai made a move. The two were about to start the “experiment” but Fuse came ringing the doorbell like mad. When Nagai answered the door and Fuse saw a naked Haruka, he did not say much but dragged Haruka back home. Once they got home, Fuse then drugged Haruka, tied his arms, and raped him despite Haruka’s protest over and over again. The next morning when Haruka woke up, he was completely exhausted. He could not move a finger or even say a word because his body was so sore. He was furious at Fuse for drugging and raping him. Since it was against his will, he could not forgive Fuse, even though Fuse kept telling him he loved him all the time. YOU COULD NOT DO ANYTHING YOU WANT IN THE NAME OF LOVE. (All those BL authors who think the seme can run away with a declaration of love, Kitazawa sensei had proven to you… they can’t). He could not forgive Fuse who did not respect his wish. Worse was the fact that he saw Shiori RIGHT AT THE DOOR staring at them . She looked at them with a face that was deeply hurt. Then she rushed out of the apartment without even picking up the umbrella she left. Haruka wanted to chase after her but he simply did not have the energy. On top of that, Fuse held him hard so he could not move. That was the last time Haruka ever saw Shiori consciously. A few days later, Shiori was hospitalized because she was running in the rain and had a terrible fever. Her body was already weak and the fever triggered a lung infection that killed her in a few days. Not long after her death, Homura’s parents also died because they were heartbroken by their daughter’s death and could not get over the grief.

Haruka could not forgive Fuse. He confronted Fuse who asked how Haruka would like him to repent for his actions. Apparently, Fuse KNEW Shiori would be coming to visit. He PURPOSELY did not run after Shiori because he wanted to tell Shiori that he preferred Haruka to her. Unfortunately, it all went wrong and Shiori died. Fuse was burdened both with loss (of a beloved sister) and of guilt (as he killed her indirectly). He said if Haruka told him to die, he would. Haruka would not allow Fuse to die though. He could not get away with his sins simply with death. He insisted that Fuse live but that:

  • He could not call him by the name Haruka (as childhood friends used to call each other). Instead, he would have to address him as Homura.
  • Naturally, he could not sleep with Haruka again but he had to watch Haruka sleeping with various sorts of men. Haruka did not want to sleep with these men either. What he really wanted was to forget the warmth and touch of Fuse that night.
  • They could not treat Shiori’s death as if NOTHING happened.

Based on these conditions, the two stayed in the same apartment till they graduated university (but Haruka hardly slept in the apartment). They both joined JSIA after that and though the current mansion belonged to Fuse, Haruka just barged into the apartment and gradually lived there. They became partners but were not lovers even though both really loved each other. When Haruka first moved to the apartment at the beginning of college, he was secretly happy because for the first time, he could have Fuse all to himself. However, he had to hide his feelings because Fuse was meant to marry Shiori. It was only natural for Fuse to marry Shiori as that was the wish of both Shiori and his parents. Fuse’s love for him really only hurt him and Shiori. He acted as if he was the victim in this whole business but he actually had responsibility for Shiori’s death as well. He just would not admit it. However, when he met Futaba and saw Futaba’s love for Asahina, something in him changed. He wanted to alter the current relationship with Fuse. This was also partly because for the last seven years since Shiori died, Fuse did not really “live”. He did not view himself as “living”. He was only alive to pay for his sins. That’s why during mission, Fuse would be smiling even if he could be killed any moment. He wanted to die and get over with his pains through death. Even when visiting the grave, Fuse would always go a day earlier than the actual date because he did not want to meet Homura at his parents and sister’s grave. In the end, the seemingly warm and nice Fuse was the BOMB and the only person who could stop him was Homura.

When Futaba learned the past of Homura and Fuse from Homura’s mouth, he wanted to help the two as they both were suffering but what could he do? One day, while he was waiting for Asahina in the car while Asahina, Homura, and Fuse were conducting an investigation, Fuse covered for Homura and got hit. Normally they would be wearing bullet-proof vest but Fuse violated the JSIA code and he did not wear any vest. Seeing Fuse bleeding and dying in front of him, Homura’s mind just went blank. He paniked and paniked and called “Keigo” during the panic. Fuse was rushed to the hospital and Homura was left in deep sorrow and confusion. It was then they exposed the truth to Homura. Fuse was not hit with a real bullet but a rubber one. It was Asahina’s plan so Fuse could see the “REAL” Homura after taking off his antisocial, melancholic, and cool mask. Asahina was acting on behalf of Futaba because Futaba wanted to help Fuse and Homura. When Fuse heard how Homura paniked and whispered “Keigo” while he collapsed in his arms, he was very happy. Homura was not there to make sure he lived to repay for his sins. Homura was there simply because he did not want Fuse to die and he was also there because he wanted to be by Fuse’s side.

“Could I live (not for pentinence but) for your sake?”

And the response was positive but it’s not like they forget Shiori’s death. So after seven years of sufferings (both for Homura and Fuse) because they were entangled in a deadlock known as “guilt”, Futaba had come to save them and the two finally could call each other “Haruka” and “Keigo” again. Fuse was annoyed at the fact that Haruka completely skilled up sexually but he was not the one levelling him up. Although Haruka skilled up though, he never enjoyed any of the sex he had so far (as he only used them to cleanse his memories of Fuse). Now, they are out of the deadlock both can enjoy a very nice and long sweet H and that’s the end…for

Review
Kitazawa sensei is not the best writer because her writing style is extremely confusing. The problem is that she lacks focus and just writes whatever comes to mind. Interestingly in this book, I think she found her focus (using Futaba as the focal point and describes Fuse and Homura’s relationship from there). The whole Sakagami incident was merely the beginning but a nice one because it logically led to the full explosion of the love-and-hate relationship between Homura and Fuse. I know some people may think this story is lame because the two really suffer over nothing. If Homura just forgave Fuse earlier, he would not have to suffer. If he only accepted Fuse earlier, the two would not have to suffer. However, I think in reality, it’s not so easy to forgive and forget, especially when it’s a trauma like this. Asahina was right when he picked Homura to solve the Sakagami case. His purpose was to let Futaba into the relationship. Even in the first book, Homura seemed to like Futaba. The presence of Futaba was like an exit to the deadlock. Without Futaba, there was no “excuse” for Homura to make the move. However, if he did not make a move sooner, Fuse would really die because he was barely living. Even in the end when the two finally became “lover”, it’s still not a happy end because the memories of Shiori would forever live in their hearts. What only changed was Homura’s heart. Instead of blaming and trying to keep distance from Fuse, he would stay together with Fuse and bear the responsibility of Shiori’s death ALONG with Fuse. This is probably the part that made me love this story like MAD.

Again, the illustration is by my beloved Kane Hikaru sensei. To be frank, I was not impressed by her artwork in the beginning (and Kiwadoi Kake was my introduction to her artwork). However, the more I looked at them, the more I loved them. The expressions of the charcters matched so well, especially Fuse’s “wild” expression when he was not afraid of death because he did not want to live, as well as the SHOCK on Haruka’s face when Fuse first raped him. The contrast in this couple with the main love-love Asahina and Futaba certainly made the story all the more wonderful.

Fuse is probably a very difficult character to understand. Basically, he’s a DOGGY???? type of seme (not hetare) but just masculine and cute, warm and pleasant. Had nothing happened, he probably would be the ideal husband type – could do all the housework, look after kids, and be successful at work. HOWEVER, when he got angry, he could GO MAD and became TRULY EVIL. To be frank, Homura was really NICE to share the responsibility of Shiroi’s death with him in the end. Haruka felt “guilty” because he secretly longed for Fuse as well but his guilt was only limited to loving a man he could not and should not have loved. However, Fuse KNEW Shiori would come, he KNEW if Shiori saw him sleeping with Haruka, it would break her heart. He CHOSE the MOST TERRIBLE METHOD of showing Shiori he loved and preferred Haruka to her. However, why did he have to choose such a CRUEL method? He could have just TOLD her he liked Haruka more. If she would not listen, he could have thought of other ways. Also, if he saw Shiori running away, he should at least just catch her first because she was “WEAK”. Whatever his motive, it simply was not RIGHT to leave a HEARTBROKEN girl running away by herself. In short, my opinion is that Haruka was right when he said Fuse was not pretending to be a warm and gentle person. Fuse was simply a WARM AND GENTLE person with a MOMENT OF DARKNESS in him. This is what makes him such a difficult character. He has two faces but is not the typical “two-face” or double personality. Should that moment of darkness take over him, he could be the most dangerous man on earth but that moment of darkness only accounted probably of 1% of Fuse’s total waking moments. Ironically thought, 1% of your time could ruin your WHOLE LIFE.

The one who suffered the most probably in this novel was not Fuse but Homura (though it would appear the other way round). Homura liked Fuse just as much as his sister did. Unfortunately, he COULD NEVER have Fuse because he was healthy and male. His parents probably spoiled Shiori more than Haruka because she was invalid and needed protection. It’s probably because he always knew he could not have Fuse that he lost interest in sex or in love and became so cool and had this attitude that he hated the whole world. He just developed that because he grew up with the fact that he could not have what he wanted. However, even though for just a short period of time, he beat his sister and got a chance to be with Fuse – alone. Before then, they were always together, the three of them. When he saw Fuse with the beautiful girl at the cafeteria, he was not jealous (I think) of the girl. He was just upset by the reassurance that Fuse liked females more than males… or he was MEANT TO LIKE females more than males and was MEANT TO choose Shiori and not him. That’s why he gave up and went to Nakai’s room but that only made matters worse. What could be worse than the fact that a passionate confession from the person you loved all your life was the ultimate curse that murdered your sister, drove your parents to their death, and created a HUGE GAP between you and the person you loved? I find this contradiction VERY FASCINATING… and another reason why I like this novel so much. To seek for justice, Homura was right to let Fuse think that he would not forgive him even if he tried to repent his crimes with his life. That would grant justice to Shiori’s death (in a way). However, seven years of imprisoning and torturing Fuse (and his own) heart was a sentence harsh enough. Probably because of that, Futaba was sent to them to end their sufferings. Their sentence was not over but it just changed from a heavy “imprisonment” sentence to a lighter “probation”. Only this time, instead of prison officer and prisoner, they both were criminals and proabtion officers at the same time… something like that. It might be impossible for them to reach the level of happiness as between Asahina and Futaba … but even a much smaller happiness is happiness and that’s enough to say this story has an acceptable and not heartbreaking conclusion.

I think Asahina’s the MOST EVIL of all in the story because he dared to handcuff and “interrogate” the cute cute Futaba in bed (dies)???. However, when it comes to Fuse and Homura, he probably was the one who rescued them. He probably KNEW Futaba would be able to bring the two out of the deadlock and so he purposely gave opportunities for Homura and Futaba to be together. I like the fact that he’s always so calm and can see through everything. He is sucessful at work and he truly loves and cares for Futaba. To make sure he can get rid of Sakagami without hurting Futaba, he went through the trouble to file a petition (and pay for the fees) to get the professional to handle the job. He also let Homura use whatever means he preferred ON CONDITION THAT it would not threaten the safety of Futaba. Ahhh… I usually hate MATURE men (well over 30) but in his case, I like him????.

Although Asahina COULD SEE THROUGH the relationship between Homura and Futaba, he also REALIZE he could do NOTHING to help them given his position. On the contrary, the innocent and cheerful?? Futaba had the MEANS to save the couple. Futaba’s innocence and straightforward personality gave Haruka the courage to face himself and to rethink the whole position of his relationship with Fuse. If Fuse and Homura are coal that’s dead cold, then Futaba is the fire that reignites the coal. As for Futaba himself, all I say is I admire his “respect” for the behavior called “sex” ?!

With regard to the casting, I must say I BOW to the ability of the person who was responsible for casting. In fact, he/she must have read this novel to pick Miki Shinichirou as Fuse. Should I pick, I think he would definitely be my first choice. Normally a cute and pleasant young man but when he explodes that DARKNESS!! Probably no one can capture it better than Miki. He is VERY GOOD at this sudden change (I think)????. Just look at his Masaomi in Harukanaru 3 if you don’t believe me. Picking Kamiya as Homura I’m not surprised. He’s almost “THE REPRESENTATIVE of “sullen, arrogant, and cold” characters????. With such a delicious setup, what the HECK is MOVIC waiting for. I wrote a support for the continuation of this series like year ago but no response…. too bad as I want to hear this REALLY BADLY (but the ? scenes scared me… one is violent and another hyper…ORZ).

Bottomline
This story does not have the most exciting plot, nor the best writing style. However, it’s the novel I like the best. It’s the only novel I read more than 5 times and still wouldn’t feel tired of it. I guess somewhere, something in this novel just CLICKED with me. It was a complete surprise as my ratings or Kiwadoi Kake was average at best. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS NOVEL!

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