Hizamazuite, Eien no Ai wo Chikau

Author: Yakou Hana
Illustrator: Nara Chiharu
Format: Novel

Drugs Rape Vibrator Pig Blood
Stabbing Guilt Chains Trick Dog Ring Arabic

Such are the keywords in this novel and if you don’t think you can swallow these, then stay away from this review.


Tachibana Yuuta had just graduated from university and was working at his father’s company. His father was a very successful hotelier but Yuuta was one of those “good for nothing” and he never showed up at work. He just spent his time playing with women and occasionally inhaling drugs. He got a bunch of terrible friends whom he wasted his days with and the only one who kept on eye on him was his cousin Furuya Takaaki. They grew up together but they were never too close because Takaaki always spoke to him in a very polite way (despite being older). That’s understandable because Takaaki was the descendant of the side family while Yuuta was from the main family. As they grew older, Takaaki graduated from a prestigious university and started working as the secretary to his father. He would also keep an eye on Yuuta and came to drag him away before he got sunk in women and drugs. Yuuta would also tease and mock Takaaki ever since he knew Takaaki was gay. Yuuta hated homosexuals A LOT. One day his friends suggested a “drug party” and Yuuta was up to it. However, his father’s villa was occupied because there was a business reception and so he used Takaaki’s villa. When his friends drove him to the villa, they brought with them a rather cute young man Shiro (college age). On the car, Shiro made a face as if he was moaning like a woman in bed. Yuuta did not like the “homosexual aura” Shiro released and was absolutely disgusted to find Shiro was a sex slave of his friends. At the villa, they sexually abused Shiro, forcing him into all kinds of sexual rituals, made him cook naked in an apron and eventually even tied him up with strings while molesting him. Yuuta hated homosexuals and so he went to sleep and regretted for joining the stupid party. When he woke up, they had dinner and finally the time for the drugs. Yuuta would not inject the drugs into his bloodstream as the others, he would not go that far yet. He just inhaled the drugs. Not long, the effects emerged and he started to see strange things. He saw a box and he started stabbing the box and there was blood coming from it. He was feeling “high” and kept on stabbing. Then, he eventually fell asleep. When he woke up, he was horrified to find that his friends were all unconscious and the object which he thought was “a box” was actually Shiro all tied up. There was blood dripping from Shiro’s body. There was blood all over his T-shirt and beside himself on the ground was a 15 inch knife!!

Shiro was murdered
Shiro was murdered by no one but himself.

Still in a state of shock, his mobile phone rang and the voice on the other side belonged to Takaaki. Yuuta was so scared he begged for help. Soon, Takaaki arrived at the scene to find a Yuuta in panic and pointing toward Shiro’s body. Takaaki went over, examined the body, untied it, and carried it to his car. He then told Yuuta to clean up and he would call the ambulance to bring the unconscious to the hospital. Yuuta then went to take a shower, still terrified and upset over what happened. Soon after the medical personnel took his friends to hospital, Takaaki also came back. He said he had disposed of the body and he would be willing to keep the secret and to take care of the rest (to keep Yuuta out of prison). However, in exchange, he wanted one thing from Yuuta – ABSOLUTE OBEDIENCE. Under no circumstance could Yuuta disobey his orders or he would call the police and Yuuta would end up in prison. Yuuta freaked out and agreed to the terms. The first order, of course, was to make Yuuta strip and sleep with him. In a way, Yuuta felt this was Takaaki’s way of getting back at him, who mocked Takaaki for being a homosexual, or looked down upon Shiro with contempt when the latter was raped by his friends.

From then on he would be reduced to nothing but a sex toy, a pet, Takaaki’s dog.

Since Yuuta could not disobey Takaaki, he started working in his father’s hotel as a servant boy under a pseudonym (and interestingly, the name Takaaki took for him was Furuya Yuuta #1). At the hotel, he was introduced to Mine (å³°), a lovely brotherly figure. In the beginning, work was tough and since Yuuta had no experience whatsoever, he had a hard time and wanted to escape. However, he had no money, no phone, and no place to escape because should he dash out, it wouldn’t be Takaaki who would be after him but the police. There was also another thing that puzzled Yuuta – why would an elite like Takaaki work as his father’s secretary? With his skills, Takaaki could easily be more successful elsewhere. Takaaki once told him that Yuuta’s father begged Takaaki to stay in the company so that one day he could be of service to Yuuta, who would eventually take over the company. Yuuta did not want to take over the company and was dismayed at the fact that Takaaki’s intention was not the “money” or the “company” either. What was his intention #2?Gradually, after working for a while, he got used to it and even started enjoying the work. One day, Takaaki came to see him and brought him to dinner. When asked about his work, Yuuta happily said it went well because of Mine senpai. One day, at the hotel, while Yuuta and Mine was chatting happily at the hallway, Takaaki appeared and took Yuuta away. He seemed FURIOUS #3 and Yuuta did not understand why as he did absolutely nothing wrong. He was working hard all day and got on well with the rest of his teammates. Takaaki dragged Yuuta to an empty room and raped him extremely badly, hurting Yuuta all through and leaving behind a devastated Yuuta amidst a pool of spe*ms and blood. Takaaki also said from then on, Yuuta would have to spend the weekends at HIS MANSION. Since then, Yuuta feared the weekends because he knew what would be awaiting him there. He wanted to escape but he had no way out, especially after his old friends were arrested for the drug party. He did not want to live the rest of life in prison and so he tried his best not to annoy Takaaki. Of course, Takaaki would not go easy on Yuuta either. He chained Yuuta up, made him wear a dog ring, and would not let him pee in the toilet. Yuuta waited 30 minutes in pain before Takaaki would bring him to the shower room and continued molesting him there. Of course, he also used toy on Yuuta and practically when Yuuta saw himself in the mirror, it was not his own reflection but that of Shiro – the Shiro he stabbed to death. The Shiro whose future he took away with his own hands.

Since Takaaki seemed to know so many sex plays, apparently he had lovers before and one of his past “lover” was a doctor Nakagawa Kenji (中å·?å?¥äºŒ). Nakagawa was actually the doctor at the hospital where Yuuta’s friends were driven before they got arrested later on. Yuuta was surprised to find himself curious and possibly jealous of the relationship between Takaaki and Nakagawa but Takaaki dismissed the possibilities of them being together (I guess it’s because both were seme and S). Yuuta also gradually discovered the reason why he hated homosexuals… that’s because he hated himself when he found he harbored feelings for Takaaki way back, when he first discovered Takaaki was gay. He was never close to Takaaki when he was growing up, but Takaaki was the only person he could turn to when things happened – not his parents or friends – only Takaaki. It was under such complex feelings when Yuuta noticed an Arabian prince (with three wives already) having an interest in him. He tried to avoid the prince at dinner and slipped out to the toilet.

My spoiler alert script is not working properly so highlight below to read the spoiler.

On the way, he met Shiro! The Shiro whom he killed was alive and right before him. He could not believe his eyes. He then forced Shiro to explain the matter. Shiro said that night at Takaaki’s villa, Yuuta did not stab him. Instead, they brought a baby pig to sacrifice because they thought Yuuta would be more “high” with blood all over. So what Yuuta was stabbing was really a baby pig and not Shiro! When Takaaki arrived, he knew Shiro was alive and he obviously noticed the baby pig as well. He carried both of them to his car and on the way, he let Shiro (who regained consciousness) go. He also took the injured pig (who miraculously survived) to Nakagawa and the doctor healed him as well. He fooled Yuuta all along. Completely pissed off, Yuuta was ready to blast Takaaki off! However, a strange thought dashed across his mind. Summing up clues #1~3 and on the basis of Takaaki’s lying of Shiro’s death, he could only conclude that Takaaki did all these because:

(1) He hated Yuuta for mocking his sexual orientation and used this opportunity to take revenge on Yuuta.
(2) He truly loved Yuuta, enough to use such a dirty method to get him because he knew in no other way would Yuuta (who seemingly despised homosexuals) to fall in love with him.

In order to test which was the right reason (as well as to get his revenge on Takaaki), Yuuta came up with a plan. He pretended he would succomb to the Arabian prince and be “his” if only the Arabian prince would get the permission from his master Takaaki. Should he win (gainning the permission), very well. Should he lose (not gaining the permission) then Yuuta would not be his. When Takaaki arrived, he first challenged the prince a bit but to Yuuta’s amazement, the prince said it would be okay even if he would keep Yuuta for the night. If Takaaki refused to give permission, he would then expose the relationship between Takaaki and Yuuta and that would mark the end to Takaaki’s career (as far as the Tachibana hotel group was concern). Yuuta thought his plan was blown up because there would be no way Takaaki would risk his career if it were only one night. He might do something if Yuuta was taken back to the middle east but for just one night? Yet, Takaaki would not give up Yuuta – not even one night. He even knelt before the Arabian prince to beg him not to take Yuuta away from him. Yuuta knew the answer. Takaaki loved him… and that’s why he used such a nasty method to get him. After the angry prince left, Yuuta and Takaaki then descended the elevator where Takaaki bowed before “his master” and kissed his hand. Once again, Yuuta regained the superiority over Takaaki… at least during the day 😀


As usual, Yakou Hana has a twist in her plot… only this time she attempted a comical instead of tragic twist, which did not quite suit my taste. Nevertheless, I suppose it’s necessary she ended it in a light and comical way because after all the nightmares Yuuta went through, it would be really hard to justify how the two could still end up together. I’d say it’s a waste because with such a fascinating (and rather angsty setup), she might as well stage a beautiful revenge in the end where Yuuta would make Takaaki suffer as the latter made him suffer all the while. To be frank, by lying to Yuuta, Takaaki not only made him suffer physically but also psychologically. In fact, the psychological trauma was the scarier bit. That’s because every night, Yuuta dreamt of Shiro chasing after him. Everytime he heard the news, he feared one day he would be caught, and everywhere he saw glimpses of himself in Shiro’s shadows. That would be actually VERY FRIGHTENING if you took the position of Yuuta. That’s why it made it a bit hard to swallow that Yuuta would forgive Takaaki so easily in the end. However, in a way I could not sympathize with Yuuta too much because when he took the drugs, he could really have killed Shiro. It was wrong of him to take drugs, wrong of him to not rescue Shiro when the latter was tortured by his friends, and wrong of him to despise and mock Takaaki and Shiro because of their sexual orientation. In a way, it was his punishment, and though he might not deserve all of it, at least some of it.


I have a perfect voice in my head but frankly, if you love your seiyuu, I think it’s best not to make him work in this drama because like Yuuta, he might have to moan till he could not speak given all the scenes (laugh). I don’t know whether I like or dislike Yuuta. I disliked the Yuuta in the beginning (absolutely) but as he began to mature and change, I suppose I started falling in love with him. I certainly felt the rape in the hotel was too much because Yuuta really did nothing wrong at that point of time and worse, despite all the pain, he was left to clean up (because he was the servant boy)! Imagine just being raped horribly and then had to clean up after that, poor Yuuta T____T. Still, I liked the end where the power equilibrium reshaped and the Queen Yuuta in the last illustration was VERY AWESOME! Love Nara sensei!

Again, I have the perfect voice for Takaaki but I would not suggest it because he won’t be loved (laughs). He’s a combination of Omi and Nakajima in Gakuen Heaven. His style of speaking (very polite speech), his calm, his royalty – all trademarks of Omi. However, his SM skills, his glasses, and the scary jealousy bore the trademarks of Hide. In anyway, he’s the perfect seme in BL but a scum in the real world! I know Takaaki loved Yuuta but whether it’s justified he went that far to molest and abuse Yuuta was a question. If you dont’ think you can forgive that degree of torture in the name of love, then feel free to hate Takaaki and this book!

Ahh, the poor Shiro… I don’t know what to say except God Bless Him! At least Takaaki helped him – in a way – but still, poor Shiro-chan! The purpose of your existence is such that I could hear Takeuchi Ken’s voice being sexually abused in my head (scary Nanya, hentai Nanya, haha).

He really did not have much role to play aside from giving Yuuta a chance to get jealous (and also a chance for Takaaki to get jealous and again slept violently with Yuuta … sigh). One funny thing is that in the end, Nara sensei had an extra pic showing him with the injured baby pig in his arms. The baby pig was snoring and I swear a yakuza looking doctor and such a cute cute piggy gives me CREEPS!!! But that’s why I love Nara sensei, haha.


This is not really “hardcore”… in a sense the play is moderate. You have all sorts of plays – vibrators, bondage, dog rings, chains, rape, drug party, you name it you get it – but it just isn’t “too hard core” for me. I’m not sure why, I suppose it’s the “mood” of the story and Yakou sensei’s writings. I recommend this novel to mystery lovers and also those who like a taste of high H but not yucky H. However, if you can’t stand a seme torturing (in a way) the uke in the name of love, then stay away from this novel!


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